Bad Ass MoFo Forums - Disjointed thoughts...

11-15-2008, 01:39 AM

BATTY [Roy]

Probably Like Indiana Jones, Only Cooler

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Disjointed thoughts...

Anyway, I was thinking about some stuff today. I thought maybe some would find (or feign) interest; or feel free to add your own input, even if it's completely unrelated to my post. In no particular order:

So I watched Night of the Living Dead '90 today. I still maintain that this Savini remake is actually superior to the Romero classic. Tony Todd works in the HNIC role, and still have an enduring hard-on for the super-cool & sexy (that's right, I said it) Patricia Tallman. Nitpicks I have are minimal: Cooper constantly screaming "YA BUNCHA YO-YOS!!!" was irritating, & everytime they show someone reloading a firearm, if you can see the bullets clearly, they are all missing the primers. They could have at least put something where the primer should have been, so the cartridges wouldn't have OBVIOUSLY been dummies. But whatever. In other news, poor, little "Sarah Cooper":

grew up in a pretty delicious fashion:

It turns out that there is a distinct possibility that I may be getting laid-off from work at the end of April '09. Contract changes in the Air Force. Dipshits. I think that I might actually hate doing IT work. I only got into it cuz the paychecks are typically "adequate". I'd seriously consider changing careers if said new career offered a comparable salary. Meh.

The JCVD thread got me thinking about Bloodsport, which got me thinking about the awesomeness of Bolo motherfucking Yeung. I decided to do a google search on him, & found a fansite. It appears, sadly, that time is finally catching up with the man:

Although, I guess we should all look so good at 70 years old, but still a shadow of his former "presence." Oh, & by the way:

\/ HAWT!!! (/would annihilate) \/

My momz makes 'Chicken & Sausage Gumbo' like nobody's business. I'll be having it for lunch tomorrow (today technically).

For anyone who has read the book World War Z (by Max Brooks), I have been planning to build the "Standard Infantry Entrenchment Tool" as an upcoming project (& addition to my apocalypse prep arsenal). Since there are no photos of the "Lobotomizer", I've MSPainted up a design from the description in the book: "a heavy steel rod ending in what looks like a fusion of shovel and double-bladed battle-axe. Its official designation is the Standard Infantry Entrenchment Tool, although, to most, it is known as either the 'Lobotomizer,' or simply, the 'Lobo.'":

Those who have read the book (or anyone else for that matter), feel free to give me some input about the design. If your minds-eye-vision of the Lobo is different, then how so? (& why?) I might even incorporate suggested changes into the final piece.

So, I'm tired of typing now, imo.

Say hi to your mother for me.

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11-15-2008, 01:57 AM

72nd St Warrior

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Quote:

Originally Posted by BATTY [Roy]

This post pretty much sums up why I wish we were friends IRL.

Blood groves for the lobo?

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11-15-2008, 07:13 AM

Criticalpedestrian

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Quote:

Originally Posted by 72nd St Warrior

This post pretty much sums up why I wish we were friends IRL.

Blood groves for the lobo?

No need for a "blood groove" as zack don't bleed. If you're intending it to be for weight reduction, I think that's a bad idea. As a chopping weapon, you want it to be heavy. If it's to harden the steel, I also don't think that's necessary, if being made out of modern materials. Given the purpose of the thing.

From a purely functional standpoint, I might get rid of the spikey bits on the top of the "shovel" aspect, as it may make it difficult to actually use as a shovel, and may get caught in, say, a skull cavity or wedged in a nasal passage.

Also, would hit the Zombie girl and the Asian fan, preferably at the same time.

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11-15-2008, 08:43 AM

VengeanceOtter

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It'd be sweet as fuck if you could give the Lobo a telescoping shaft for portability. It'd be a pain in the ass making it as a functional piece, as you'd have to have a locking mechanism that could hold up to heavy duty digging and heavy duty skull-splitting, as well as the structural integrity issues that arise from having a hollow section of shaft.

Maybe two solid pieces of steel that screw together? Thread a few inches of the butt end of the half with the blade, then bore out and thread the same distance in the fore of the handle end.

Also, in the interest of not accidentally nicking yourself with zack's blood, you might want to consider a sheath for the blade. It'd be pretty badass if it was rigged to some kind of harness.

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11-15-2008, 09:13 AM

Chimp Commando

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I always pictured the lobo as being more of a half moon shape, almost like a shaolin spade. Your interpretation seems a bit more functional though.

Let us know how that one turns out.

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11-15-2008, 10:13 AM

esob's ghost

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A few points:

I'd lengthen the haft of the lobo. That's more like a hand ax than a battle ax. I'd also take off the little handle on the end, as when you're swinging it those will just get in your way.

I agree on the removal of the end spikes. They look neat, but functionally don't add anything to the ax.

Lastly I'd find a way to center the blade along the handle. The way you have it designed (offset for the pan of the shovel) will cause the ax to twist when you strike things, and diminish the force of the blow. You want the blows to hit squarely with all of your swing behind it. I know that leaves you with either creating a flat surface shovel (not super useful) or thickening and narrowing the head (a pain in the ass), but I think the latter is the only way to really achieve it.

I also think for the same reason (functionality) I'd avoid any kind of telescoping handle or screw on head. It would substantially weaken the weapon, imo.

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11-15-2008, 12:06 PM

hungryc

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I always pictured the lobo more as a double cresent moon shaped weapon for back and forth cleaving. A bit more round the head. And you want it to have a stabbing action.

It'd look something like this in my mind (-^-)

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11-15-2008, 12:27 PM

BATTY [Roy]

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72nd St Warrior: Normally I'd agree on the blood grooves. However, as mentioned, zack doesn't bleed, & more importantly, when used for shoveling, the holes would be counter-productive.

Criticalpedestrian & esob's ghost: I concur concerning the "end-spikes", but I just CAN'T bring myself to eliminate them. I did shorten them though.

VengeanceOtter: I also like the idea of the screw-together handle (telescoping would be impossible (strengthwise) imo), BUT (I loaned the book out to a friend, so I can't verify this (maybe someone else can)) I seem to remember one of the characters stating that the Lobo was constructed out of one solid "hunk of steel." So I'll probably stay away from that. However, I will be making some type of blade-cover/harness. The soldier has to be able to carry it efficiently.

LP: The reason I went with this shape is as follows: Brooks interviews a survivor in Japan who fought the walking dead with a shaolin spade (IIRC). I felt that if the Lobo looked like that, that he would've described the Lobo as being similar to the shaolin spade, as opposed to calling it a fusion of a shovel & a medieval battle-ax.

esob's ghost: Right now I have the overall length at about 34 - 36". Seeing that it will be solid steel, I'd think that making it much bigger would make it impractical to carry. As for the end-handle, I was looking at the modern entrenching tools & thinking about how much easier it is to shovel dirt using a shovel with an end-handle to help keep the thrust flat. I did shorten it, but I'm hesitant to lose it altogether. And I agree completely about centering the chopping-surface. They should be near "center-shaft" to be balanced, but it didn't occur to me how to draw it until this morning.

hungryc: While I really LIKE that idea, that shape would make the tool basically an ax, & impractical for shoveling imo.

Further thoughts? Further thoughts about my thoughts? Thanks for the input everyone. <3

11-15-2008, 12:56 PM

Chimp Commando

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I've been listening to the audiobook version the past few days and really like it. Todd Wanio describes it just as a "hunk of steel," at least in the audiobook. So I think you could probably get away with an extendable shaft.

What about a telescoping one, like with the plastic lightsabers. The faster you swing it, the more stuck together it will be.

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11-15-2008, 04:06 PM

VengeanceOtter

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Quote:

Originally Posted by LP

What about a telescoping one, like with the plastic lightsabers. The faster you swing it, the more stuck together it will be.

It doesn't matter how tight the pieces fit together if they're all hollow and are going to progressively fold like a bendy straw by your eighth kill. You know what happens then? Batty's using his bear fucking hands to tear through a legion of reanimated corpses and yeah, eight becomes eighty, maybe even eight hundred, but at some point he's going to go into a berserker rage and not even realize that he's chewing through a zed's throat like it's Ma Batty's homemade beef jerky™ until it's five minutes past too late.

And no, that wasn't a typo, dude's a fucking bear. Garf should watch his shit around Batty, imo.

11-15-2008, 05:29 PM

splorkchop

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WTF, Bolo Yeung was 50 in Bloodsport!?

11-15-2008, 06:13 PM

VengeanceOtter

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Quote:

Originally Posted by splorkchop

WTF, Bolo Yeung was 50 in Bloodsport!?

In chinese years. He was 27 by our calendar.

11-15-2008, 08:34 PM

mac is grundy

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Quote:

Originally Posted by hungryc

I'll go and look, but im pretty sure the way you're describing it was the way they did in the book

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11-15-2008, 08:52 PM

KrazyBarber

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on an entirely unrelated issue and in a similarly disjointed manner i just had an early thanksgiving dinner with my apartmentmates and it was fucking glorious.

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11-15-2008, 09:28 PM

Farticus

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I think the remake of Night of the Living Dead was a good job...and this is my new desktop...

I found this pic and it was kind of what I thought a Lobo looked like when I read the book but I would have made the blade end wider

Last edited by Farticus : 11-15-2008 at 09:48 PM.

11-16-2008, 10:46 AM

BATTY [Roy]

Probably Like Indiana Jones, Only Cooler

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More...

So every Xmas this company puts out a type of candy that's not available the rest of the year. So being the thoughtful husband that I am, once I find out that it's available (it's Mrs. Batty's favorite) I call around to see who has it. Fucken Wal-mart is the ONLY place that has it around here. I go in there & grab 6 bags of it (we freeze it to make it last about 4-5 months) & head for the "SPEEDY checkout". I get to the "SPEEDY checkout" & am confronted by this (excuse the shitty phone pix):

Now, let's assess some of the main things that are wrong with this photo (one of which is, I'm in fucken Wal-mart, but that's a given):

I had 6 items, & this stupid bitch roles up with 2 full shopping carts, starts piling crap on the belt, & the moron behind the register doesn't say boo to her. I generally won't go berserk on someone in front of their children, so I ended up at one of the self-checkouts behind someone who had 1/2 a cartload of crap, & got out of there before baby-mama was even finished emptying her 2 carts on the belt.

I have a feeling that it won't be one big thing that finally makes me snap. It'll be a final-straw-breaking-the-camels-back type thing. Something just like this imo.

11-16-2008, 11:01 AM

go3

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but she needed her mountain dew

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11-16-2008, 11:31 AM

VengeanceOtter

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Originally Posted by go3

but she needed her mountain dew

Holy diabeetus, batman.

11-16-2008, 12:23 PM

Raygun

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Farticus

I think the remake of Night of the Living Dead was a good job...and this is my new desktop...

Is that Dr. Strange?

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Last edited by Raygun : 11-16-2008 at 12:28 PM.

11-16-2008, 12:29 PM

Raziel

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Raygun

Is that Dr. Strange?

Yeah.

11-16-2008, 12:59 PM

VengeanceOtter

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Raziel

Yeah.

First time I've seen him looking that bad ass.

11-16-2008, 01:46 PM

Bridger

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Quote:

Originally Posted by BATTY [Roy]

I have a feeling that it won't be one big thing that finally makes me snap. It'll be a final-straw-breaking-the-camels-back type thing. Something just like this imo.

Obama president now cracka! You can't do nothin!

The clerk was probably afraid of the negress

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11-16-2008, 01:49 PM

Raziel

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Quote:

Originally Posted by VengeanceOtter

First time I've seen him looking that bad ass.

The artist is named Gabriele Dell'Otto. He does some amazing covers and portraits as a painter, but his artwork is rather distracting when they make an entire comic out of it. He's one of those guys that I love to see do the cover of a book, but as a painter, he just can't tell a good story from panel to panel.

If you think about it, it's a lot easier to make Strange look badass than it is to make any of the guys in day-glow spandex look badass:

11-16-2008, 05:17 PM

hungryc

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Farticus

I found this pic and it was kind of what I thought a Lobo looked like when I read the book but I would have made the blade end wider

YES this was what I was thinking of. Make this Batty!

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Quote:

Originally Posted by 72nd St Warrior

11-16-2008, 06:48 PM

BATTY [Roy]

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Quote:

Originally Posted by hungryc

YES this was what I was thinking of. Make this Batty!

I had seen that work-up somewhere. It's OK but:

a. I don't think the overall dimensions are big enough.
2. It doesn't have enough shovel-shape to work as a shovel.
C. I see a definite failure-point where the head joins the handle.
IV. That design suffers from the same problem that my initial one did: the cutting blades are off-center, which will throw the tool out of balance when using as a chopping weapon.

Hmmm.

11-16-2008, 08:38 PM

hungryc

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digging holes is secondary to chopping heads. It never said it was a great shovel. I got the feeling from the book that it was like a one piece stamped out kind of thing. But you're the weapons expert.

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Quote:

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11-16-2008, 09:45 PM

Roachgodd

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I like this thread. I have to disagree though - the '90 remake is absolutely inferior to the original, for the kid in the basement scene alone. The original is just too much of a classic. I do enjoy the hell out of the remake, especially Pat Tallman, and you know why on that one.

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11-16-2008, 10:04 PM

Robar

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not sure how i feel about this yet

11-16-2008, 10:30 PM

MaxDread

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Robar

not sure how i feel about this yet

I'm at least happy that JMS is writing it?

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11-16-2008, 10:42 PM

BATTY [Roy]

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Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxDread

I'm at least happy that JMS is writing it?

+1 for ^this^.

Brad Pitt's potential involvement doesn't bother me much either.

11-16-2008, 11:04 PM

MaxDread

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Quote:

Originally Posted by BATTY [Roy]

+1 for ^this^.

Brad Pitt's potential involvement doesn't bother me much either.

With JMS involved I don't care who else gets involved with it as long as he is writing.

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11-17-2008, 01:15 AM

Oldbenkenobi

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Quote:

Originally Posted by BATTY [Roy]

Be honest: all the time it took you to get out of there you fantasized on the multiple ways you would use your multiple handmade weapons on brainless clerk and the woman. And you enjoyed your fantasies. I would.

11-17-2008, 05:01 AM

Culinary Boner

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Isn't Bolo in that new show Testees?

What a horrible show.

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11-17-2008, 05:13 AM

VengeanceOtter

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Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxDread

With JMS involved I don't care who else gets involved with it as long as he is writing.

Max Brooks said pretty much the same thing when I saw him on a writing panel this summer.

11-17-2008, 05:46 AM

Culinary Boner

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Quote:

Originally Posted by BATTY [Roy]

I generally won't go berserk on someone in front of their children, so I ended up at one of the self-checkouts behind someone who had 1/2 a cartload of crap, & got out of there before baby-mama was even finished emptying her 2 carts on the belt.

That looks like one situation I'd be afraid to confront even if I was you. I think you made the right call in not doing anything unless you wanted to face the wrath of fat angry black woman with misbehaving kids.

That's why I try to avoid Wal-Mart at all costs. That and Costco. As soon as I walk in the door something happens that makes me want to stab someone. It just goes downhill from there to the point where I've got a nervous tick by the time I get to the register from keeping all my rage inside.

11-17-2008, 07:06 AM

splorkchop

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pukewater

That's why I try to avoid Wal-Mart at all costs. That and Costco. As soon as I walk in the door something happens that makes me want to stab someone.

11-17-2008, 07:06 AM

Naylor

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pukewater

That's why I try to avoid Wal-Mart at all costs. That and Costco. As soon as I walk in the door something happens that makes me want to stab someone. It just goes downhill from there to the point where I've got a nervous tick by the time I get to the register from keeping all my rage inside.

QFT, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. The woman and I call it the curse of the "rt". Pretty much anything that ends with an "rt" can set me off like that...airport, wal mart, etc

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11-17-2008, 07:25 AM

Bridger

Crom!

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pukewater

Fuck that. Just call her "nigger" and walk away. She will stew over it all day cracka honkey mothafucka

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11-17-2008, 07:26 AM

Culinary Boner

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bridger

Fuck that. Just call her "nigger" and walk away. She will stew over it all day cracka honkey mothafucka

Apparently you aren't familiar with how black people work.

11-17-2008, 08:28 AM

Hafro

Ape Heavy Artillery

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bridger

Fuck that. Costco is the shit!

Fixed for me.

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